My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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