Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
