Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
