Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
