Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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