wanna go halves on a baby?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
