For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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