Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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