OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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