No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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