that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
