and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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