i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
