I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
