Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
