i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
