Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I love you.
Bad choice
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