They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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