The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
