Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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