I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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