We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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