we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
