OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
