never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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