this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
