I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
