I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
