i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
