All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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