hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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