I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
