Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
