How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
