He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
