Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
