I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
