After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
