So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
