You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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