My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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