i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
