3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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