I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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