***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
