Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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