Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dignity is for republicans.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
