somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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