yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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