Who wears a wallet chain?!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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